Column 
Ten years ago, my brother T-Bob married a Russian woman. Five short years later, two babies joined the crew.Today the tykes—Alexander and Anastasia, better known as Sasha and Ana--are 6 years old. Their favorite activity is screaming. In Russian.T-Bo ... full story
I remember my first time. It was just like yesterday.No, more like Thursday, actually. That’s when it finally happened.It’s one of those things that gets built up in a man’s head for so long that eventually, he wonders if it is ever going to ha ... full story
I’m a big man who likes his Big Eats. It’s not worth eating if you can’t eat it big.I like to talk about food. A lot. Big Food. I take my White Castles like I take my Krispy Kremes, by the dozen. I love pizzas that look like garbage can lids, thick h ... full story
Virginia Woolf said it was money and a room of one’s own (i.e., a sanctuary in which to work or dream.)Gloria Steinem—‘memba her?--said the key to happiness is a sense of purpose.Marabel Morgan—I KNOW you ‘memba her—said making our husbands happy wou ... full story
Whoever said money couldn’t buy happiness either never had it or just took it too seriously. With enough money, you can, in fact, buy a lot of happiness, or rather, peace of mind, which is a very clearly marked and well-paved route to happiness. You ... full story
I’m sure you saw the recent story about the woman trainer, a USC alumni who was killed by a Killer Whale at Orlando’s Sea World. We have all made the comments about the obvious danger everybody seems to ignore when it comes to frolicking around a big ... full story
Smith Says 2/24I woke up last week with my throat feeling like I’d swallowed broken glass. Then I coughed up what appeared to be a chunk of lung, sneezed and cracked a rib.Yes, the funk done fell upon me. Like the wag once said, first I was afraid I’d die. Then I w ... full story
The story you are about to read is true. In fact, I’m astonished I’m still around to write about it. It’s funny how a passing decade turns a nightmare into a fond memory. Sort of…Mike cranked into a high octane riff, that Marshall JCM 800 stack screa ... full story
This weekend I got to be a rock and roll star. This was my second weekend reconnecting with new/old friends I’d never met. These were classmates in college way back in the late seventies and early eighties that, except for a couple of beer drinking b ... full story
Wise Words from Williams: Rewriting your scripts … So you have some scripts that you need to rewrite. There are some beliefs you hold in your head that hold you back and you need to rid yourselves of them. The first step is to examine them. How we respond to life’s situations is based on our BVEs; wh ... full story
This morning I had black coffee and tomato paste for breakfast. I’m not crazy yet, but it’s coming.What I’m trying to do is follow the latest recommendations for healthy eating. Let’s see if I’m up to date:* Tomato products can help prevent cancer! C ... full story
One almost never sees a snowman standing next to a palm tree. So I am glad to report that I have, in fact, witnessed such a phenomenon. Even took a picture of it.Now that the snow is gone, however, I’m ready for this winter to be done. Global warming ... full story
It snowed last night. It hasn’t snowed here in ten years. It’s not supposed to snow here. This is the beach. It’s supposed to be warm. Sunny. No snow.I have a favorite colorful adjective that I am often known to use during times of duress, stress, di ... full story
Hair is supposed to be a woman’s crowning glory. Mine’s more like a cross to bear.I hate going to the beauty parlor. (Excuse me, hair salon.) But I also get sick of single-handedly beating my hair into submission. Sometimes I need a little help.Now, ... full story
There’s something telling about a person who watches the Super Bowl largely for the commercials rather than the game. It’s probably not very flattering, though, so I’m not going to admit to that right here.Nonetheless, it is astounding how one sixty- ... full story
It’s Valentine’s Day again? Already?Didn’t we just do this last year?Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against Valentine’s Day.Okay, yes I do. I have plenty against Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day takes a genuine act of kindness and affection betwe ... full story
Have you ever laughed at someone’s misfortune and then hated yourself?I had a spell of self-hatred last week. Widdle and I were eating almonds on the sofa when he mentioned that a man he’d known for years had broken up with his wife.“That’s too bad,” ... full story
As Dirty Harry once said, “Man’s got to know his limitations.”Mine appear to be plumbing and electrical work. And carpentry. And tile. And…No, that’s not quite true. I’ve managed to hang four ceiling fans and the front porch light without burning dow ... full story
It’s February.If you’re like me, the New Year’s resolution to lose weight is about to get chucked. Mine already has. Sometime last week I got fed up with stupid bathroom scales not giving what I feel is the right weight, and had a day that began with ... full story
“You’re odd,” my husband said last night.I froze with my fingers in the mustard jar.“Me, odd?” I spluttered. “YOU’RE odd, pal.”He stopped sniffing the silverware. “No, I’m interesting,” he huffed. “You’re strange. Sorry, darling.”I walked backwards t ... full story
By the time you finish reading this, you may very well want to check into the nearest padded hotel, if not murder me in my sleep.It’s time once again to exorcize a few demons and the only way to do that is to write about them. Then I can go to sleep, ... full story
It is a sad commentary when a man can say he’s set himself on fire more than once. I succeeded in the self-combustion exercise, if you call smoldering as being officially on fire.Like sharp objects, firearms and certain power tools, I don’t do well w ... full story
Savvy Senior: Senior-Friendly TV Remote ControlsDear Savvy SeniorCan you recommend a simple TV remote control for seniors? The remote I currently have is so complex and hard to see I’m almost afraid to use it in fear of screwing something up. What’s out there that can help an old woman?Remotely Co ... full story
Can you believe the uproar on the boob tube? Late night talk show hosts have turned into sulky little boys. Conan O’Brien is Dennis the Menace, refusing to accept a later time slot. He’s taking his marbles and going home. Jay is the Beav, pouting bec ... full story
So far 2010 is my year of epiphanies.It’s amazing how so quickly and in so short a time, so many things have become so crystal clear. Have I been confused all this time and I’m now finally getting it? Or have I been clocked upside the head enough tim ... full story
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Columnists
Jim Tatum
I remember my first time. It was just like yesterday.No, more like Thursday, actually. That’s ...
Dan Brown
I’m a big man who likes his Big Eats. It’s not worth eating if you can’t eat it big.I like to talk a ...
Ellen Priest
Since when did apologizing become good enough? It seems as though recently people think that it is o ...
Julie Smith
Ten years ago, my brother T-Bob married a Russian woman. Five short years later, two babies joined t ...
Judy Watts
Apparently the old adage, “The customer is always right,” skipped a generation.My sister was in town ...
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