Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Sometimes when I sit down to open a vein—I mean, write a column—my mind is skittering all over the place and I can’t decide on a topic. So today you get mind skitter stuff.
First up: There are great posts on my Facebook wall. My friends are both funny and wise. Below are some recent favorites:
• “When life gets to be more than you can stand… kneel.”
• “I’ve had so much coffee I can thread a sewing machine while it’s still running.”
• “The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.”
• “When it seems like God is pushing you to the limit, two things can happen: Either He’ll catch you when you fall, or He will teach you how to fly.”
• “Make the most of your mistakes. Instead of slapping your forehead and saying, ‘What was I thinking?’ ask yourself, ’What was I learning?’”
• “What if we began to treat our Bibles the way we treat our cell phones— carried it with us everywhere, went back home if we forgot it, checked it for messages throughout the day, used it in case of emergency and spent hours poring over it every day?”
• “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” C.S. Lewis
• “Carpe the hell out of this diem.”
• “We are all just walking each other home.” Ram Dass.
• “Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you.”
• “If God didn’t want us to have guns, he wouldn’t have given us trigger fingers!” Yosemite Sam
• “Our purpose in life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don ‘t hurt them,” the Dali Lama.
• “Mommy needs to either take a nap or sell the kids.”
• “Sometimes you have to take a deep breath, smile, toss the match and watch that bridge burn.”
• “I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” Augusten Burroughs
Widdle and I go through spurts where we watch a lot of movies, at home and at the theater. (We also go through spurts where we rent movies, then take them back late and still unwatched. I hate that.)
What follows is a list of recent movies with capsule reviews:
“Arthur Newman”—This flick, starring Colin Firth and Emily Blunt as two wounded souls on a road trip, made exactly $207,853 at theaters. No wonder, when the plot has them breaking into empty houses to do the wild thing together. Not a minute of it makes sense.
“Lone Survivor”— Mark Wahlberg and Emile Hirsch are great in this true account of Operation Red Wings in Afghanistan. You know how it ends, but it’s still an absorbing, gut-wrenching ride.
“Jayne Mansfield’s Car”—Why Billy Bob Thornton, Robert Duvall, Kevin Bacon and John Hurt made this unholy mess is beyond human comprehension. The only remarkable scene is when Billy Bob pins his military medals on his naked chest.
“Thank You for Sharing”—Mark Ruffalo and Tim Robbins play recovering sex addicts; Josh Gad and Pink are new to the program. A smart, witty look at the 12-step community, and Gwyneth Paltrow looks great in a garter belt.
“Dallas Buyers Club”—My pick for the Best Picture Oscar. Matthew McConaughey is a man on fire, and Jared Leto nails the role of Rayon, a cross-dressing AIDS patient. Dramatic, funny, doomed. Watch it.
“Girl Most Likely”—Big-city playwright (Kristen Wiig) crashes and burns, then must live with her wacky mom (Annette Bening). Not a lot happens, except her character belatedly learns that family is, you know, kind of important.
Julie R. Smith, who can’t look away from a bad movie, can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.