WISE WORDS: When things are not going well, consider this

  • Thursday, August 22, 2013


Some time ago I had an interesting interview with a young man who was disenchanted with the way his life was going.
His relationship with those in his household was poor. The situation on his job was no better. He hated his job, the third one in five months. Three months ago he broke up with his girlfriend and nothing seemed to be working for him.
I listened and asked questions. He spoke and explained what he thought was the problem.
As I listened I could not help but notice that although he did not come out and blame anyone directly,† it seems as if it was other people that were responsible for the condition of his life. People on the job were too nosy and talked too much. Sometimes his family was not understanding. He really was trying his best but no one was giving him credit for doing his best. The list goes on and on.
The first thing I shared with him is the fact that he has to take responsibility for his life. Blaming others or pointing fingers at others won’t help him.
The second thing I had to share with him is that if you keep on doing what you have always done you will get the results you have always gotten. There are behaviors and patterns that were noticeable in his life that even he could identify with a little help.
They were not productive. They did not lead to solutions. Yet he repeated them over and over again.
Part of the reason was his lack of awareness. We often just do things out of habit and we never really sit back and take stock to see if what we are doing is producing the result we desire.
Sometimes we don’t even know what works because we do things without really thinking. But we should be more conscious of our behaviors; otherwise how will we know what works and what doesn’t work?
The third thing I had to get him to understand, which is very closely connected to the above, is that you cannot change your life unless you change something you do every day. The secret of our success is found in our daily agenda.
Nothing changes merely because we wish it to change. Nothing changes because it is time we had a break. Things change because we do something to make them change. Things change because we change or we change something we do.
†Personal responsibility says, “if it is to be it is up to me.”

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