Wednesday, May 8, 2013
TLC in this case doesn’t stand for tender loving care … it actually means Tone, Listening and Content.
The message is that if you are conscious of your tone when you communicate, if you practice being a good listener, and if you pay attention to your content then people will be a lot more receptive to you and you will more likely get the results you desire in others.
Tone is the manner in which you say something. It includes your tone of voice, how loudly or how softly you speak, and the emotion you show as you speak.
But it involves more than that. It also includes your entire body language … your posture, facial expression and gestures. It is everything but the words you speak.
You have often heard people say, it is not what you say but how you say it that really matters. And that is largely true because studies show that how we say something has a greater influence on the person than what we say.
How we say something helps the other person to interpret what we are saying. I have actually made my point in my public speaking classes by saying the same thing to three different people using a different tone of voice along with a fitting body language and the class has always been able to identify the change in meaning.
I guess I could say Tone is King when it comes to communicating. It affects whether others listen to you or not. It affects how they listen to you.
People will not listen to you if you display certain kinds of emotion. If they don’t walk away from you they will tune you out. Your tone can cause people to build up resistance towards you, which in turn will cause them to resist your arguments even though ordinarily they would have been sympathetic towards it and you. Inappropriate tone can sink your argument just as appropriate tone can elevate your argument.
It is good to be passionate at times. But excessive demonstration of emotion, particularly negative emotion because you are frustrated, angry, upset, annoyed or for any other reason is counterproductive because those emotions tend to detract from your words. Those emotions won’t necessarily help you win over the other person.
Intimidation is what you are now using and that is one of the worst forms of communication anyone can use, and it is doubtful you could even call that communication.
Tone is important. Make sure how you are saying what you are saying, doesn’t destroy what you are saying. Sometimes it is not the weakness of your argument that destroyed your argument, but the tone in which you packaged it.