My first 3D movie

  • Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I’m 55 years old and this weekend I saw my first-ever 3D movie.
That means throughout my childhood I resisted the temptation to put on those quirky shades and be summarily amazed at the 3D special effects poorly written into the movie plot.
I remember watching the Three Stooges in 3D without the quirky shades and noting the 3D special effects were limited to Curly waggling his fingers at the camera. Since back then the quality of the quirky shades was pretty darn poor, I never got the whole 3D thing. It flew right over my head.
Not even at Disney and Michael Jackson’s 3D epic music video at EPCOT Center did I get it. Sadly my eyes are multi-dimensionally challenged. You should see me try to read ultra-sounds.
There lies my first-ever look at both my kids, and my soon-to-be born grandchild and I have no idea what I’m looking at.
“See the head?”
All I can do is nod and say, “Yes, I see the head,” but in reality all I can make out is a big round smear.
This past weekend while buying tickets to see Iron Man 3, I opt not to wait the extra 45 minutes for the standard 2-dimensional flick and instead pull the trigger on Iron Man in 3D. Imagine my excitement when, for the price of my seven-dollar ticket, I was handed my very own set of 3D quirky shades. I thought, cool, these will fit over my regular glasses just fine.
And when the prompt flashed across the screen to “Put my 3D glasses on now,” I did so with the other 60-or-so 3D buffs waiting to see Iron Man.
The movie did not disappoint and I didn’t have to wait long to be impressed.
The best way to show off your 3D movie making skills is to blow something up and they wasted little time in dumping Tony Stark’s flying saucer home into the Pacific Ocean.
Shrapnel blew by my head. Sparks spewed all around me.
I thought – I’m sitting too close to the screen, I’m going to get burned up in the explosion.
I was impressed.
There was even a point when the 3D was too 3D for me and I took off my glasses. The screen looked how things look after one or four adult beverages. So I put the glasses back on.
It was a neat movie, with or without the 3D. After a while you stopped noticing the 3D and just watched the movie.
As I left I told the usher, “Neat,” and he replied, “You ain’t seen nothing yet, wait until Man of Steel comes out.”
The new Superman movie worries me. I’ve seen the trailers. I want to know.
How am I going to make it through a two-hour movie without bursting into uncontrollable sobs when I can’t even make it through a three-minute movie teaser?
At one point in Iron Man I did a big time fist pump when the Hulkbuster suit thundered across the screen. I think I even let out a squeal of glee.
And I never “glee.”

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