Fanfare for the Common Man: I am officially not watching

I am officially not watching NBC’s coverage of the Summer Olympics.

I do not like how the network censors coverage, making you wait until 10 p.m. in prime time to see something that happened up to 12 hours previously.

And no, you haven’t heard the last from me yet on these Olympics I’m not watching. We still have the closing ceremonies to scoff at yet.

In the old days of three TV channels and no Internet, Tweets or Smart Phones, I could have waited because I didn’t have a choice. Now I have a choice. And I am not going to wait. Therefore I won’t watch it at all.

Great Britain’s Andy Murray overcame his defeat at Wimbledon last month to Roger Federer to gain a measure of revenge and win gold at the 2012 Summer Olympics. The gold medal is probably the more important of the two. You can always win Wimbledon next year, but you may not get another chance at an Olympic gold medal.

So I want to watch it.

Folks in the UK don’t have many athletes for which to root. During the Opening Ceremonies the Queen spent the three hours counting the number of nations no longer a part of the British Empire. Not fun to do.

So when they get a chance to celebrate, I want to see it and I want to see it now. You know how it is with me and ceremonial sports moments. It’s one of the four things that make me cry and I feel in need of some tears at the moment.

I’ve pretty much watched the new Superman trailer as much as I can watch it right now. My daughter doesn’t get married until next month and I’m not in the mood for bagpipes.

This leaves the ceremonial sports moment as the last thing that makes me cry and NBC is denying me my emotional moment. I don’t like being held emotional hostage. If it’s a woman, I can handle it.

It’s actually kind of fun, but a television network? No way.  

Ever since Al Gore reportedly invented the Internet we have been spoiled. We have instant access to information and entertainment anytime and anywhere.

In the Not So Good Old Days it would take me more than two minutes to look up the definition of a word in my American Heritage Collegiate dictionary – which I’m loathe to say I haven’t opened or moved from its spot on my desk in more than three years.

It would take me 45 minutes to get to a library to reference a topic in the encyclopedias.

Today, I can take care of both in the span of time a 30-second promotional spot airs on NBC and still have time to pick up the remote and change the channel because I loathe promotional spots almost as much as I despise tape-delayed broadcasts.

NBC helped created this instant-need monster and now they’ve decided not to feed it.

Well, I’m hungry and I need my information food.

One week remains and I’m ready for it to be over.

I used to be all over this Olympic stuff. I could be all over it again. Just don’t make me wait.

You make me wait, I get angry. I get angry, I do stupid things like accidentally shave off an eyebrow… and then on purpose have to shave off the other one.

There’s nothing worse than not having the ability to frown when one is angry.